Episode 1
Summary
What's up Her Nation? I'm your host Kyndra Lina and you are now tuned into Her Life Her Way podcast where we dive deep into relatable topics that everyday women like you and I face as we continue on our journey of personal growth and development to ultimately improve self. So grab your favorite drink in a comfy blanket so you can enjoy this motivational content created with you in mind.
Chapters
00:00 - Transition form Teaching to Therapy
5:51 - Master's Program Journey
14:41 - Future in Marriage & Family Therapy
Key Learnings
What was the initial career path the speaker pursued before transitioning into therapy?
- The speaker initially went into college to become a teacher and obtained a Bachelor of Science degree in elementary education.
What specific aspect of teaching made the speaker realize they wanted to transition into therapy?
- The speaker discovered their passion for connecting with parents during parent-teacher conferences, bridging the gap between home and school.
What was the pivotal moment that made the speaker shift their academic focus towards therapy?
- During a parent-teacher conference in their second year of teaching, the speaker realized their interest in therapy and decided to pursue a doctorate in the field.
What has the speaker's academic journey in therapy involved so far?
- The speaker completed a year of academic classes, two required residencies focusing on clinical skills, and is currently in the internship phase of their master's program.
How does the speaker currently earn money in the therapy field despite not being licensed yet?
- The speaker works as a supervised marriage and family therapist intern, offers premarital coaching, and plans to start their own private practice in the future.
Transcription
What's up Her Nation? I'm your girl Kyndra Lina. Welcome or welcome back to my podcast here on this podcast, we're going to be talking all things therapy and on today's episode, we're going to be deep diving into why I chose Marriage & Family Therapy. So my why for this career field starts all the way back in my childhood as a child. I could only dream of becoming a wife one day and of becoming a mother one day. So as a child, I experienced my parents get a divorce at the age of two. So I do not have a vivid memory of the time that they did spend together while married and under the same roof. However, I do remember the whole process of my sister and I going back and forth between households and I, as a child would often think to myself, man, hopefully one day my dad will come back. That's what I used to think to myself. And through this experience of being little me, I in essence, was learning how to cope through a sense of trauma in my life. And I was trying to learn how to respond to this situation that I was in. And so as a result, I made a promise to myself as a very little girl. And that promise was to either a get married and never get divorced so that I would never have to experience that as an adult or so that my future kids would never experience that as a family or my promise was to go into a career field to where I could help other kids who are experiencing the same thing or other adults who were in that same situation as well. And so I vividly remember making that promise to myself so much so that I personally have only been in three relationships in my life. All three relationships have been long term. That first relationship was from sixth grade to 12th grade. And that was my boyfriend back then. My next relationship was from college to young adulthood, and then my next relationship is with my husband now and it is my current relationship. And so I say this because this plays a key role into why marriage and family therapy is such a personal thing. For me. I've always taken relationships very seriously. I've always had such a natural curiosity for how a man and a woman can operate together under the cover of marriage in the same household. I've always had such a natural curiosity for that dynamic and it has shown through multiple stages in my life.
So now let's fast forward into adulthood. I originally went into college for my undergrad degree to become a Teacher. And I got my Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education from Oakwood University and that is an HBCU. So shout out to OU and I originally went into teaching because it was what was comfortable for me. At the time, my mom transitioned from the IT field to the teaching field when my sister and I were younger. And in this transition, I was able to see the behind the scenes of what it took to be a Teacher. I was very comfortable with being in the classroom and in front of the classroom. And between my sister and I, we spent long hours helping my mom either set up her classroom, take down her classroom, grade papers, wait until it's time to go home, and so I was very comfortable in the classroom. So for me, it was a no brainer to take that route because it was comfortable. And I am a huge fan of my comfort zone. And so long story short, about two years into my teaching career - after discovering how much I did not enjoy teaching, on that second year of teaching, I realized during a parent teacher conference that, something sparked within me. And I realized how out of everything that the teaching occupation includes. My most favorite thing about teaching was the parent teacher conferences. I enjoyed parent teacher conferences so much because I got to sit down with these families and with these parents in person, and we got to have a short time together in that classroom where we talked about the success of their child. I got to bridge that a gap between what's taking place at home and what's taking place in the classroom, and I just really enjoyed connecting those dots and determining why that child could have been doing certain things during their time with me in the classroom based off of observations that I made of the parents and of the families as a whole. So I really, really enjoyed learning what the parents do for a living, how much they do try to help their child at home, talking with the child about how they think we could best help them. And I just really enjoyed meeting with a smaller group of people in more of an intimate setting. So it was from this point that I went home and I started to research and look up different career fields that could possibly include meeting with couples or families and marriage and family therapy came up. And when I found this career field which I never knew existed, I felt like it was made just for me as an introvert. The teaching career was just so draining to me because, oh, goodness, the endless amounts of contact and communication with people throughout the day, it was just never ending. And it was so draining to me. But to think that my work day could include meeting with 1 to 3 people for only one hour was just, it sounded so amazing to me.
So I started looking up different schools and looking up who offered this career program. And I always was interested in getting my master's degree because I've always taken academics very seriously. I truly do value academics and education. So with that being said, I always knew that I was going to reach the top with my personal education career and academic journey, I knew I was going to reach a top. I just didn't know what that top was going to look like. So now that I knew that I didn't want to continue on with teaching and that I was interested in transitioning into therapy. Now, my vision for myself had changed mentally. And so I now knew that my doctorate was going to be my top. It was going to be my end goal academically. And I now knew that it was going to be in the field of therapy. And so in order to get to that point with the doctorate degree, I first had to get my master's degree. And so I landed my search on a university that really sparked my interest. It was online and then began my master's degree journey. Though it has only been two years and it's not quite over yet. It has felt like a lifetime because so many life changes have happened during this time. For me, I've gotten married, I've had a baby, I've quit teaching, started building my business and I'm just, I'm trying to think, oh, I've also moved and there's just so many life changes that have taken place. And so it has made the program seem much longer than it actually has been. But thankfully, I am finally only shy of two quarters and I am intending on graduating in December of 2024. I'm so excited about that and I just, I couldn't be more happier for myself.
So let's get into what this program has been like for me because I am more sure than ever even while going through this program that this field is for me. So the first year of this program was heavily based on academics and classes. And so I, I averaged about 2 to 3 classes per quarter and there are four quarters in a year. Literally, that first year was just me taking classes online. Within that first year, there were also two residencies that were required. Now, it's one thing to take your classes online and to submit your assignments online. But it's another way and you have an in person event, which was this residency that we were required to go on. At first, I was, I felt the way because the residencies costed us about anywhere from $1000 to $1200 out of pocket for each trip. And there were two that were required. And so because I was also going through some major life changes behind the scenes of trying to complete this program, I did feel a way about having to go on these expenses trips, but I did realize the value in them once I went. So both trips took place in Chicago, Illinois and they were in more isolated places. They weren't necessarily too far from downtown, but it almost felt like the country up north and both residencies took place at five star hotels and they lasted about five days long. Not only were we paying all this money to go on the trip and booking our flights and securing our hotel room, but we had to take off of work to attend the trip twice. But once I got there and I got in the room with my classmates and my instructor, I felt a lot better about investing in the trip because I felt like it was worth it. So that first residency was all about learning the clinical skills as therapists, there's a certain way to talk in your sessions, there's a certain way to communicate with your clients. And during this first residency, we learned that lingo, we learned the strategies on how to guide our clients through their sessions successfully.mThe second residency took place at the end of the year and this residency was focused on the actual theories, the theory models within therapy. And so these models are essentially an approach that we as Therapists can use to help our clients reach their therapeutic goal. And so of course, there's a lot of research and studying that has gone into each theory. I like it. I mean, I feel like between the range of clinical skills mixed with the theoretic models, it really gives you an opportunity to find a unique approach to therapy. And so it was not a one size fits all, but this second residency was more like a, they kept telling us to think of it as a shopping spree. We're going on a shopping spree to shop for the model that fits you the best we want to figure out which model do you gravitate to were the most, which model do you feel the most comfortable in? In this classroom on this residency, it had lights, it had cameras, it had microphones and in order to pass this residency, we were required to do a mock session with the cameras rolling and the lights on and the microphones on and our classmates surrounding us talk about pressure. We were required to do a mock session using that model that we selected. So we had to think about these play scenarios and pick out which classmates we were going to use to play as the clients. And literally, we had to do a mock session for 50 minutes. Now, at that point in the program, 50 minutes is a really long time, especially before you have any real practice in a session as a Therapist. It was nerve wracking, but I got through it and I got to keep my copy of my mock session. And it's something that I'll forever hold on to and cherish because I got nothing but positive feeds back a lot of the feedback that I got from my classmates and my instructor at the time was how much of a natural I seemed and how great I was at what I did. And so for me, at that very moment, it was confirmation that I was exactly where I was supposed to be career wise. And so after the residency going into year two of this program, which is where I currently am. I'm at the halfway mark of year two, this year is all about internship. So we've got to do four quarters of internship. At this point in the program, you have to find a clinical site that does therapy and works with clients and you have to interview at this site, you have to get approved. Some sites pay interns, some don't, some require interns to pay for supervision, some don't, luckily I was able to land on two sites that do not require me to pay for supervision. However, they also don't pay me to do the work that I do. And so the mindset shift that takes place during this in the program is realizing that you are putting in the work for free so that you can get to where you need to be. I'm not worried about the money right now. I'm worried about getting the hours. There's a certain amount of hours that I have to have in order to graduate and give me one second. I'm going to get the post it note and actually read that amount of hours to you all. So you realize how hard your girl is working back here. So in order to graduate, I have to have 300 direct contact hours, 100 relational hours, 100 AAMFT approved hours, 50 observable data hours, 10 site supervision hours, and I've got to attend two labs if the site supervisor is not AAM FT approved. So if you take this total of hours and you divide it by four, that is the minimum amount of hours that we are required to get each quarter in order to pass to go on to the next quarter. Now, you thought that the pressure was real during that second residency? No, no, no, no, no. Especially with the full time job that I had at the time at the beginning of this year who I don't know how I did it, but I did and it does take a lot of hard work discipline and consistency.
Now, one thing I love about the master's level of learning is that there is not a lot of testing involved. I have one big test I will be taking next quarter, which is a practice test that I will have to take in order to get licensed as a Therapist - but that's not a problem. I can take my one little test! However, this level of learning does include a lot of writing. I've written so many papers and each paper can vary between being required to write six pages all the way up to twelve pages. I actually feel like I express myself very well verbally and on paper. And so I have no problem with slaying these papers left and right and getting them in. And your girl is a procrastinator. Let's just be real. Ok. Now, I am a productive procrastinator. Ok. Those do exist. She is me. I am her. And what this basically means is that I am always waiting until the last minute. I am typically getting my papers together and completed either the day before or two days before it's due. And that has been my method to success. This is my way of getting rid of that anxiety cloud of constantly worrying about what has to be done. And I would rather complete it and submit it closer to the deadline so that I don't spend that extra time wondering what I got on the assignment. And so it is basically my way of coping through that anxiety and making it adjustable for me. And so that is my academic career. And so, although I'm not able to make money by doing my therapy sessions with my clients right now, simply because I'm not licensed, I have found other ways to make money within this realm.
So yes, I am a supervised marriage and family therapist, meaning that I am an intern and I do not get paid, but I can literally book a session with you today and I can meet with you whether you are an individual, a couple or a family and I can work with you through your problem that you are experiencing in life. However, I just don't get paid at this point, which is fine. The ways that I have found that I can get paid within this realm is through my wedding, officiating. I am an ordained wedding efficient and my husband and I we got married virtually. So I offer virtual services to marry other couples who are looking to get married virtually as well. I can also do virtual signings for those who just don't want the ceremony at all. And then my third way is through my premarital coaching where I can work with couples who are about to get married and they want to determine if they're a good fit for each other or not. And so those are my three ways of still being able to get paid through my own business in this realm until I get fully licensed. Now, my plans for the future is to start my own private practice. So I am building my clientele and building that rapport with my clients right now. And my goal maybe three years from now is to venture off and to start my own private practice. Virtually, all of my services are virtual and I have thoroughly enjoyed it because not only am I homebody, but I'm also an introvert and I'm a mother to a one year old. And so it gives me so much freedom and flexibility to be able to thrive career wise and thrive professionally as well as you know, keep up with the lifestyle that I want to live for myself and my family.
And so that is my story on why I chose marriage and family therapy. If there is anyone out there who can relate, I would love to hear the ways in which you can relate. I would love to hear also those who have considered maybe going into the realm of marriage and family therapy. It's not for everyone, but it is definitely such a rewarding career. And I just look forward to continuing to sharpen my skills and get better and continue on this journey. I know later on down the road after I obtain my master's degree, I want to work on my phd and I would love to get my doctorate in developmental psychology. And yes. So those are my goals in life. I hope you all enjoyed this.